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Nuked London Hatriots

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Nuked London Hatriots logo.png

The Nuked London Hatriots are one of the teams in Mutant Football League. The team is a parody of the New England Patriots although the team in this case is based in England rather than Massachusetts. The roster has every race in the game so far. Their symbol is a yellow mutant with red hair wearing a gas mask. Their stadium is Phlegmbly Stadium situated in Ground Zero, London and is a parody of Wembley Stadium, one of the NFL's venues for the league's London Games.

The Hatriots have won numerous Mayhem Bowl Championships. Their assassin Quarterback, Bomb Shady is arguably the best to ever play the game. All-Star Throb Bronkowski is his #1 target. The Hatriots have a rampaging defense, which easily shuts down opposing offenses. Their coach, Swill Belchstuff is a brilliant tactician, he plans for every situation possible and when that doesn't work - he cheats. (Mutant Football League, Team Scouting)

Theme[edit | edit source]

On the Grid by Brian Schmidt

All-Stars[edit | edit source]

Bomb Shady
#12 Quarterback
Throb Bronkowski
#87 Bruise Receiver
Demon McThwarty
#32 Safety
Falcon Rupture
#21 Cover back
Dante Firepower
#54 Line Basher

OVERALL: 91

Offense: 90
Defense: 90
Special Teams: 92

Dirty Tricks[edit | edit source]

Offense:

Defense:

Player Stats[edit | edit source]

Offense:
Quarterbacks

Player Name Race Overall Throwing Velocity (TVC) Short Accuracy Throwing (SAC) Deep Accuracy Throwing (DAC) Throwing Power (THP) Intelligence (INT)
Bomb Shady* Skeleton 96 85 100 100 100 100
Doc Eyebender Robot 68 65 79 67 82 79
Ya'Homie Brisket Skeleton 54 56 74 60 58 57
Prying Voyeur Robot 70 60 85 73 81 69
Hoardin Goreblood Skeleton 64 60 86 67 74 64

Running Backs

Player Name Race Overall Route Running (RTE) Break Tackles(BT) Hands/Ability to not Fumble (HND) Catching (CTH) Speed (SPD) Toughness (TGH)
Neon Spewis Skeleton 86 100 86 91 84 77 94
Hex Bulkhead Human 73 88 77 78 91 72 69
Insane Flight Robot 79 100 81 71 94 82 56
Claw Hammer Human 63 84 69 53 84 62 53
Spike Killslee Orc 78 91 86 85 91 68 91

Receivers

Player Name Race Overall Route Running (RTE) Catching (CTH) Vertical/Jumping (VER) Speed (SPD) Intelligence (INT)
Goulian Metalman Robot 92 100 100 92 83 94
Branded Crooks Alien 90 100 86 100 100 76
Falcon Missle Robot 70 63 71 84 82 68
Brisk Chokem Human 86 100 90 94 84 85
Bustin Bitchwood Skeleton 72 84 84 83 76 50
Wrathspew Hater Skeleton 58 50 72 62 62 55
Fanny Abdomen Human 78 94 84 84 72 74

Bruise Receivers

Player Name Race Overall Route Running (RTE) Catching (CTH) Vertical/Jumping (VER) Speed (SPD) Intelligence (INT)
Throb Bronkowski* Orc 94 100 100 73 69 92
Cartellus Slammit Orc 72 71 88 65 56 64
Inpain Talon Robot 59 67 74 63 59 63
Willtz Skeleton 68 84 86 50 50 61

Guards

Player Name Race Overall Pass Blocking (PBK) Run Blocking (RBK) Downfield Blocking (DBK) Intelligence (INT) Toughness (TGH)
Spaz Raven Orc 92 95 100 100 91 90
Carcass Slammen Orc 96 100 97 100 100 97
Hated Manbruise Orc 94 97 100 100 98 97
Hate Soldier Robot 76 76 94 76 66 96
Bro Looney-Bin Human 68 86 69 78 64 71
Mole Bossin Human 72 84 78 83 66 75

Defense:
Blitzers

Player Name Race Overall Block Shedding (BSH) Tackling (TAK) Hitting Power (POW) Pass Deflection (DEF) Toughness (TGH) Blitzing (BLZ)
Falcon Frown Orc 90 100 100 94 81 84 97
Torment Die Human 87 94 100 86 83 88 94
Slay Dour Robot 85 88 93 84 84 88 100
Sinscent Brokenspine Robot 74 82 79 75 64 88 85
Chasm Stench Orc 77 89 91 85 73 75 78
MoCrash Harsh Human 70 80 81 67 76 67 89

Enforcers

Player Name Race Overall Block Shedding (BSH) Tackling (TAK) Hitting Power (POW) Pass Deflection (DEF) Aggressiveness (AGR) Blitzing (BLZ)
Tormental Slimbebeast Orc 92 100 91 100 82 87 100
Nightmaresinside Skeleton 72 73 79 73 71 72 83
Grave Guiltyman Skeleton 74 72 82 73 72 75 84

Cover Backs

Player Name Race Overall Man Coverage (MCV) Intelligence (INT) Tackling (TAK) Vertical/Jumping (VER) Speed (SPD) Pass Deflection (DEF)
Falcon Rupture* Robot 96 100 100 100 91 88 100
Demon Killmore Robot 88 95 99 100 84 84 82
Virus Clones Robot 73 87 62 77 81 81 72
Brwonson Badbrosil Skeleton 72 85 77 78 75 68 74
Cleric Dough Skeleton 76 100 70 82 71 68 82
Gromlathon Groans Skeleton 73 82 67 82 72 63 87

Line Bashers

Player Name Race Overall Man Coverage (MCV) Block Shedding (BSH) Intelligence (INT) Tackling (TAK) Hitting Power (POW) Pass Deflection (DEF)
Wild Van Noise Human 76 87 83 83 83 75 65
Abandon Clobber Skeleton 86 100 94 87 95 90 94
Shy McLemon Human 58 78 51 63 63 44 70
War Hammer Human 76 77 88 86 92 65 78
Rabid Hairless Orc 70 88 67 47 94 84 77
Dante Firepower* Robot 92 96 93 100 100 85 84

Safeties

Player Name Race Overall Man Coverage (MCV) Intelligence (INT) Tackling (TAK) Vertical/Jumping (VER) Speed (SPD) Pass Deflection (DEF)
Demon McThwarty Robot 93 94 100 100 94 88 93
Turd Burglar Alien 70 83 71 78 76 67 70
Ruin Harden Robot 79 88 94 92 72 59 81
Fatrick Tongue Skeleton 78 92 84 87 77 80 73
Hate Bender Human 65 71 66 71 67 65 69

Special Teams:
Kickers

Player Name Race Overall Onsides Kicking (OSK) Kicking Accuracy (KAC) Kicking Power (KPW)
BleedIt KickItOutski Human 100 100 100 100

Punters

Player Name Race Overall Punting Accuracy (PAC) Punt Hangtime (HNG) Punting Power (PPW)
Lion Talon Skeleton 93 93 100 97

Burn Returners

Player Name Race Overall Break Tackles (BT) Catching (CTH) Speed (SPD) Hands/Ability to not Fumble (HND)
Gutsy Spills Robot 88 92 94 91 81

Trivia[edit | edit source]

Player References

  • Line Basher War Hammer is a reference to Warhammer.

Team Trivia

  • Acording to Urban Dictionary, a hatriot is person who zealously supports his/her political dogma to the point of bigotry towards people of opposing opinions.
    • It is also a caller to The David Pakman Show who records "Hatriot Mail" comments expressing his/her ultra-conservative views in a derogatory manner.
    • The word shares the same name with a thrash metal band from Oakland, California.
  • Their kicker BleedIt KickItOutski is the only non-star player to have a perfect 100 across all stats.

See also[edit | edit source]